i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
