U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
