The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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