your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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