so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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