it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
