if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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