Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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