I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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