i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize