I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is wine microwaveable?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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