Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
