Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
