"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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