I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
