Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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