I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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