I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
