Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All I want is dick and wine.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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