glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
