So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
