Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
