I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
