we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have fence marks all over my body
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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