I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
