Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
