my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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