Hey man sorry I got all grabby
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
