there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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