Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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