I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
