Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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