If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
