Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
