So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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