Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
