we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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