Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
