Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize