just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
