I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
