omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You ever have a fart follow you around?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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