For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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