He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
