Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
