This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
