They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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