But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
