Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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