8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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