she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
