Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
