do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
