he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
