He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
