I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
