I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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