my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
