how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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