I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
