Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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